Stewed Plums

Plums, plums, plums

So we have a loaded up plum tree out in the backyard. What are we going to do with all of these plums this year? We decided we really needed to pick the plums before they all landed on the ground and the dog ate them. Not good for him I know, but as a golden retriever Hercules is a bit of a pig when it comes to any form of food on the ground. Especially something as sweet as plums.

We had a bit of a debate. Should we try and make jam? To be honest I have never tried this. So we looked up some jam recipes. Looked easy enough I thought. 

Well no that idea went down like a lead balloon. My husband thought it would be too messy. Don't get me started on how he loves to clean in the kitchen. A good thing I hear you say. Well not always. Trouble is I'm a bit of a messy cook. I am learning not to make so much mess. After all of these years of marriage I have learned to put away as I go, a trait that makes my husband a happier person to be around. So I figure it is worth the effort.

So back to the plums. 

We decided to stew the plums. Yum I thought. So my husband went out and picked some. Some huh, 7 kg of plums as it turns out. As you can see by the picture below there are still plenty left on the tree.

Plenty of plums left on the tree.

I looked up lots of recipes on how to stew plums. I've done it before but thought it might be nice to see how others did it. In the meantime my husband started removing the stones/seeds. I ended up helping as this was going to be a long job. I found a great recipe and showed it to my husband. Jamie Oliver, that seemed like the best place to start. Interested? Nope so we just did our own thing. Actually my husband did his own thing. He wanted to cook them himself.

7kg of plums in there.

How much sugar? 

Well according to Jamie it is 2 heaped teaspoons per 500g of fruit. As I started measuring out the sugar hubby decided that what was left in the bottom of the large sugar container was enough. "Plenty here" he said and dumped it in. Oh well I guess we could taste as we go.

How much water? 

So again I looked to Jamie for inspiration. The answer was 2 tablespoons of water per 500g. "I've boiled the jug, so I'll just put the whole jug in". was what my husband said. So in went one jug full of water, and then another.

How long to cook it for?

Until it looks and tastes cooked I said. "OK". 

The result?

Well the result was lovely. Maybe a bit too much water, we had to siphon some off at the end. However as you can see I even had some on my porridge this morning.

Stewed plums on porridge.

Now to figure out what to do with those left on the tree ...

I'm not tired!

I don't want to go to bed!

Children need sleep. How do I know this? Well I can do some research and find out that children need down time, they need to rewire their brain and they need sleep for their bodies to grow.

On The Valley Sleep Center website where it tells you that
"The importance of sleep cannot be overstated. The damaging effects of sleep deprivation are evident everywhere you look.  For children the stakes are even higher, the consequences more dire and farther reaching." It then goes on to list 10 reasons that children need sleep:
1.      It Gives Their Body a Break
2.      It Lets Their Brain De-clutter
3.      It Helps Regulate Emotions
4.      It Helps Them Grow
5.      It Builds Up Their Resistance
6.      It Protects Their Mental Health
7.      It Helps Them Make and Keep Friends
8.      It Helps Them Stay Healthy
9.      It Lets Them Learn
10.    It Gives Them Energy
For more information on this list click here

On an Australian parenting website it reminds us that:
"Toddlers need 10-12 hours sleep a night. Most of them can do with an hour or two in the middle of the day as well." Along with lots of info about bedtime routines.

On the WebMD website about children's health it explains about good sound sleep for your child. How "sleep ensures he or she will have a sound foundation for proper mind and body development".

Reading to and with Chldren can be a useful way to get them to bed.

However being a parent means that I have a much simpler way of telling that children need to go to sleep. This is because not only do they get tired and grumpy without it, so do I.

Setting a bedtime routine is really important. I have tried to be strict enough that they follow the rules, with enough flexibility to allow for holidays and nights out. This is really difficult. One of the rules of thumb I have always followed is to figure out if it is best for the child or for me. Having a regular, and decent hour, bedtime is a rule that is best for all members of the household.

One of the first things I learned about getting children who can talk, into bed either in the day or at night is don't argue over bedtime. That is just a formula that ends in tears for all involved. I remember the first time my oldest decided that he no longer needed a day sleep.
"Why do I have to go to sleep?" he asked. My answer was "because you are tired". Of course the response was "no I'm not". Then I tried to reason with "you must be, we just spent the last 2 hours running around the park, playing on swings, climbing up equipment and having races", to which the yawned response was "nope". End of discussion as far as he was concerned. Great so what now? Well I did let him stay up and what happened? You guessed it, he collapsed in a heap on the floor in the middle of playing with his toys right before I served dinner.

Did I consciously allow that to happen again? Not on your life. Naturally there where times when it did happen, however each time I knew what I was in for. From then on I used to insist on at least a time of laying down, with many of these ending up in sleep. Yay!

As children get older. They start to struggle against bedtime. Part of it is pushing the boundaries. As they age bedtime gets pushed to be later and later in the night. The most difficult thing to do is to keep to the bedtime that you have set. Being strict about bedtime is hard! Sometimes you end up moving your whole routine around so that you can get them into bed at the right time.

I'm not tired!

There is some great info on the Empowering Parents website. Information for parents of both young and older children. On this site it says: "As every parent knows, fights over bedtime can be one of the biggest power struggles you’ll have with your child, whether they’re five or fifteen. 
The truth is, many kids just don’t want to go to bed at night. For most of them, I think it’s because they’re afraid they’re going to miss something." Yes, yes and yes.
Also - "FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN 
Realize that the problem-solving skills of younger kids are less evolved; they often have problems with impulsivity and frustration control. 
If going to bed is frustrating for them, it’s likely that their behavior is going to escalate into an unpleasant situation." Yep!
And this - "FOR OLDER KIDS
Take the Electronics out of the Bedroom 
Check in on Your Kids before Lights out". A big tick on that one.

I love my boys and will do everything I can to give them a happy life. But when it comes to going to bed you better believe that it's one of the rules I really try not to break.

Every household is different and every child is different. If you find that you or your kids are struggling with anything here in Australia there is always Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

or

Parentline - click here for the different phone numbers for each state.

My parenting style. What's that?

Do you get confused about your parenting style?

How often do you feel like you are not sure of what you are doing as a parent? For me it is a regular occurrence.  I often question if I am doing the right thing. Am I turning out children who will become fun loving, happy and healthy adults?

I find that my style for parenting does not always match with what my husband does. So what do I do? Naturally all of the parenting books you read say that you must consult and come up with a mutually acceptable parenting plan? Easier said than done? You bet!

How is this possible when you have grown up in two completely different households with extremely different parents? Well there must be some common ground or you wouldn't have been together in the first place I guess. This is a struggle that my husband and I often stumble over. We are a typical case of opposites attracting, this sometimes makes it tricky to come to an agreeable decision.

Our boys are aged 21 years and 12 years old. You'd think by now that we could agree on everything. Nope not really.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he is a good person. We struggle a little with the fact that our oldest is just like me and our youngest is a lot like him. I question things about parenting. Should we be just as strict on the youngest as we were on the oldest? Should we try a different method of parenting? Not that we are unhappy about the way the oldest child turned out, but there are 9 years between them and times have changed.

Recently I had my mother-in-law tell me how she used to think I was too hard on my children. However as it turns out, according to her our boys are the only decently behaved kids in the family. I had to hide a smirk and just nodded and smiled. As the quote goes from the Madagascar film "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave".

I remember my Dad sitting on the end of my hospital bed just a few days after my oldest was born. He turned to me and said "now remember, kids don't come with a training manual". My response was a simple.."why not?". It was about then that I started to get an inkling about how tough being a Mum might really be. Little did I know the joys and sorrows that parenting involves.

In the end I don't think there is necessarily a right or a wrong way of parenting. Especially when we are all different and so are our children. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same. However this doesn't make the job of being a parent any easier.

No matter what I do or how I try my kids will turn out to be who they want to be. And in the end I believe that this is a good thing.

Still, hopefully a little guidance from Mum can't hurt too much. I hope not because they get plenty of it.  I love being a parent and would not give it up for the world.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I look forward to sharing some of these highs and lows from the perspective of a parent who doesn't have babies anymore, just boys growing into men!

I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.